What do I choose... [PV Tom Trümper] 01

Still looking at some clothes, I decided it was the time to choose something. I had been in here for over 3 hours and I didn't choosed something yet... Well in fact there was 3 pants, 3 t-shirts and 2 tank top I wanted to buy. But I had only 50 Euro on me, so no many clothes today! Sighing, I went in the changing room, trying on the first t-shirt. It was all black with shiny starts on it and stranges designs too. I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking if it was cool or no; I choosed no. Pulling off the clothe I tried the others ones, and the pants too. 30 more minutes passed before I picked the black tank top with a white slim and goes out of the little changing room, bumping hard into someone as I dropped my clothes.

'' Shit! '' I mumbled as I bend down to pick everything up, looking at the... dude with big clothes, '' Hm sorry '' I said as I smiled lightly, not liking this guy and walked passed him without waiting for him to answer me, placing my clothes on the counter to pay.

Circling around the clothing store for the fourth time in the last ten minutes I grunted and shoved my hand in my pockets.

I can't believe Gavin dragged me here again! I thought to myself, rolling my eyes. It was the second time that week that Gavin had brought me shopping. I know he likes to look nice and all but how many clothes does one guy need! Sighing again I stomped up an aisle on my way back to the changing rooms looking around me absentmindedly. I grunted as I walked into something. A mouse like guy fell to the floor grabbing the clothes he had dropped. Standing up he apologized and walked off.

"Eh, it's ok..."I said, too quietly for him to hear as he hurried off. I watched him walk. His thin legs squezzed into his tight skinny jeans, his ass....NO TOM STOP!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Turning to the changing rooms I hammered on Gavin's door.

"Get the hell out of there quick man, I gotta leave!" I hissed.

Is it me or this guy had say something to me? Shrugging, I paid my clothes and nodded as the man asked me if he should put them into a bag.

'' Can you place them somewhere, maybe I'll go check other stuffs '', I asked while he said an 'okay' and I walked back into the store to look at belts.

I had some Euro left so why not spending them into a... beautiful necklace with spikes! I hurried over it and grabbed it, looking at the price.

'' Holy shit, 80 Euro!? '' I squealed and rolled my eyes.

Maybe mom won't be too much angry if I buy it? I continued to stare at the black necklace for about 10 minutes, thinking hard. In one week I'll be able to pay back my mom if I used her card. Nodding to myself, I turned over the counter, thinking about paying it and bumped again into the weird guy.

'' Oof!... Again? '' I asked more to myself than to him, fixing my shirt.

"I'll be out in a minute dude! God! he hummed not moving any faster than he had previously been.

I hurried away from the changing room, the idea of waiting outside for him in mind. I walked blindly across the shop, swerving at a clothes railing and bumping into something again. The mousy guy was back, standing in front of me pulling at his clothes.

I smiled an awkward and snarky smile as I tried to divert my eyes from him pulling at his shirt.

"Heh, yeah...eh, no problem," I stammered.

Quickly looking over my shoulder I shouted a whisper at Gavin. "Gavin hurry the fuck up!"

Turning back to the guy I smiled again stepping aside and running out of the shop my eyes tightly shut most of the way, my hands firmly stuck in my pockets.

The dude gave me an akward smile before babling something, rushing away. Eh...okay..., I thought to myself, grabbing the necklace who was on the floor and placed it back where I had found him. I went at the counter and grabbed my bag, thanking the man and walked outside, looking at where the guy was. He wasn't the type of mens I would usually talk to, but he looked weird. And, to be honest, I was always talking to the weirdless guys. I finally saw him and walked over the dreadlocks guy, stopping two meters away from him.

'' Er... '' I murmured.

...okay now you look like an idiot Bill!

Taking a big breath, I openned my mouth to speak but closed it again before turning my back at the guy, slamming my forehead. I was seriously not the best to go talk to other persons. I turned on my heels again and looked at him, smiling a bit.

'' Hum sorry but... Did I hurt you, I mean I bumped in you twice? ''

I stood outside the shop tapping my fingers against my leg waiting for Gavin to finish what he was doing.

I was leaning against a wall when, from the corner of my eye, I saw the mousey boy come out of the shop. I purposely looked in the opposite direction, hoping he would make a hasty exit.

He walked a few feet away and I sighed happily. Sucking the air back in as he stopped.

He better not come over here, he better not come over here!

I didn't look at him, hoping he would get the picture and leave me alone. He flitted on both his feet before opening him mouth and muttering. He decided against it and turned taking a step away. I relaxed my shoulders, content that he was finally leaving. For the second time I had been wrong as he spun back around to me and asked if he had hurt me.

Grinding my teeth together, I sucked in a quiet breath.

"Um, yeah I'm fine don't worry..." I said giving him a brief glance before looking away again.

As I finally managed to ask him my question, he gave me a quick glance while answering me. Maybe I was wrong, but he seemed a bit stressed or frustrated. Am I disguisting him? It wouldn't be the first time. Guys usually walk away from me, surely thinking I'm only a faggot or something. That was my chance with this dude...

'' I'm... not a faggot dude '' I babled, rubbing my neck, '' But it's cool if you're not hurt. Are you waiting for someone? '' I asked holding my breath.

I never tried to speak with those type of guys. If I was, they were usually bullying me or beating me up. But I was able to defend myself; I wasn't that much a weaker. Maybe I was thin and tall, but it didn't mean I wasn't strong. Okay, I wasn't that strong... But more than a girl, that's for sure. I played with my long necklace, waiting for an answer; if he would reply to me in fact.

Nibbling at my lips, I heard a guy calling a ' Tom ' person, going out of the shop. Was it his friend? If it was, I had now my answer. I looked at him walking passing me before tapping Tom on the shoulder, talking to him.

'' Um... ''

I rubbed my neck, not knowing what to do now.

I had hoped that answering him would have satisfied him and he would be happy to leave but, as my luck would have it, he didn't. I didn't change my expression much from slightly uninterested as he stood there probably thinking of something else to say. What was with him? It's not a normal occurrence to randomly talk to strangers on the street. I could see him standing not far from me out of the corner of my eye. He was very tall, about the same height as me but much thinner. His body was prefectly shaped, if a bit too slim. The clothes he wore made him look like a Rock God. I could feel my eyes dip trying to see more of him from my periferal vision. I scaled down his neck, his chest to his hips and his-

"I'm...not a faggot dude."

My eyes jumped back up. Had he seen me? Shit I was in for it now. I was deciding what to say to him but he merely continued his sentence asking was I waiting for someone. I gave a mental sigh of relief and was about to answer before Gavin called me from behind.

I turned to watch him skip onto the street.

Uh....I need a new best friend...

The guy stood there rubbing his neck awkwardly. Gavin nodded at me to leave and I grunted in response. Moving off the wall I looked at the guy one final time.

Those le- TOM! I mentally slapped myself.

We were about to leave when the shop assistant came running from the buidling.

"Oh, Mr.Bill, thank God you are here, your credit card, you left it behind."

Bill?....

As they were going to leave, I saw the man calling me to give me back the credit card. I thanked him and looked at the two guys leaving. I don't know why but it hurted to see that another boy didn't want to talk to me; as always. Was I that annoying?? People were alwaus walking away from me but I didn't know why. Since I was a kid boys were not speaking to me. It was only to ; bully me or beat me up... Or even ignoring me. I thought that was the past, but it seemed it was not going to change anyway. I nibbled at my lips still looking at them leaving and turned on my heels, walking away too.

My only friends were girls... There was few exeption like Andreas and Adrian ; but they were gay. That's why they stay with me or even talk to me. Maybe it was because of my makeup or something. I'll clean my eyes when I'll get home. It's over with all this; tight clothes, makeup, lip gloss, ect.

You'll ever stay a failure Bill, whatever you wear, I thought to myself.

You gotta stop doing this Tom! You are not gay!

I walked beside Gavin, giving this Bill character one final glance before passing him out and powering ahead. This had been happening for sometime and it was beginning to scare me. It started off with small thoughts. I would pass a guy and admire his hair or him clothes. Then it started getting worse. I would consider them handsome, and take a little extra longer to look at them. After that the problem got out of control. Guys are becoming more attractive, their faces, their bodies, I was noticing it all. But I wasn't gay! There was no way! I've fucked girls like there was no tomorrow and I loved it! And I still do! Huge boobs and a fine ass, in tight skinny jeans, the same height as me....

TOM STOP!!

Gavin had been talking non stop while I had been daydreaming. He swung his bag around and smiled happily at me.

"Are you sure you're not gay?" I asked him as we walked.

"Positive! I've had more ass than you have I'd bet," he laughed as continued to walk.

Yeah...his ass...No wait TOM!!

I turned back on my heels for the third time, looking over where they were walking. I sighed, rubbing my neck and took a quick little street to the way back of my house. I didn't want to stay out to long and it was already 5 o'clock. Looking up at my hairs who where in front of my eyes, even if I was blowing them away, I pulled out my brush from my bag and started to fix them back straight, then placed the brush away into my bag.

Maybe I should go buy something in a little shop to eat, I'm starved.

I went over another street quickly, knowing there was a tiny restaurant somewhere, but as I was turning at the corner of a building, I bumped hard into someone, falling on my ass.

Great!! Now my ass are going to hurt more after falling 3 times!, I thought, rubbing my ass as I stood up, looking at who it was and flinched.

"You must have the gay gene somewhere in you? 25% gay maybe?" I said trying to focus my mind on something else.

Gavin patted his finger against his lips and smiled.

"Maybe 30% for good measure!" he said completely serious.

I shook my head and laughed to myself and closed my eyes for a split second. In that short moment, for the third time that day I walked into someone.

If it's him again.... I opened my eyes and low and behold on the floor, looking up at me with the same expression I was looking at him with, was the mousy boy Bill.

Sighing I bent down and held out my hand.

"Sorry, are you hurt?" I asked.

It was the boy from the shop again. As I was going to stand up, he holded out his hand at me. I bite my tongue and grabbed his hand lightly, not knowing if he was going to lift me up or push me back down. Seriously, how can someone bump into the same person 3 times in a day? In less than 1 hour? That was really weird. Maybe God wanted me to show me I wasn't going to have a friend like that in all my life.

Stop thinking about those things, I thought as I gabbed his hand more fermly, standing up as he helped me.

'' I'm fine... '' I mumbled, pulling back my hand away as I rubbed my neck again, '' Sorry about that '', I murmured quickly between my lips before picking up my bag, walking away quickly over the little restaurant.

He was talking to me after 3 times that I bumped into him? And why was I the only one who was bumping into people!! I whined and plopped on a chair, sitting at one table as I asked for a sandwich.

Bill grabbed my hand and pulled himself up. He told he was fine apologized again and left. As he walked away my eyes followed him, watching his hips swaying as he moved.

Is there any point anymore...?

Gavin rested his head over my shoulder and hummed.

"So...what about yourself? 75% gay? he said.

I sighed. Maybe he was right...There was no harm in trying.

"Hey Gav? You hungry?" I said following Bill into the restaurant.

You did only 7 lines Tom

I pulled out few Euro, seeing I had 10 left and placed them back into my pocket, waiting for the waiter to bring me my plate. Starving I was! I thanked the boy and took a bite in the sandwich, before licking my finger to clean it and saw the two boys entering the shop. I whimpered a little, trying to not be seen.

What if they're following me?

I ate a bit more slowly, taking a sip of my coffee when the waiter gived me one and looked down at my table. I should ring Andy; I didn't want to feel alone right now. Whiping my hands with a towel I grabbed my cellphone, calling my best friend.

'' Yeah? '' A voice came from it.

'' Hey And'! '' I laughed akward, looking at my sandwich, '' What were you doing? '' I asked to him.


'' Well honestly nothing... But I wanted to go see Jim, remember the red haired boy??''

I played with some of my hairs, nodding even if he couldn't see me. Indeed, Andreas was saying a dude since few months now, and he wanted to ask Jimmy if he loved him too. I smiled lightly.

'' Yeah, you're talking about him since long And' '' I chuckled softly, '' Well I won't take more of your time now, see you tomorrow honey '', I smiled.

'' Yup!! See you soon chick! '' he laughed before closing the phone.

I looked at my cellphone mouth open with a smile. Fuck him! I chuckled and closed itt before continuing to eat.

Bill Kaulitz wrote:

You did only 7 lines Tom

I walked through the door. Without looking directly I scanned the restaurant to find him. I saw him sitting on the left side. Walking in with Gavin behind me I took a seat in the middle of the restaurant in a position where I could see him. Gavin sat down across me a look on his face that said you-can-tell-me-anything. I sighed and picked up the menu not wanting to look at Gavin hoping to stall him in anyway I could.

"I can see you behind there you know?" Gavin said moving the menu away.

"There's gotta be something wrong with me Gav!" I whined playing with my fingers.

"He's the one with the black hair on the table over there right?"

I nodded looking down at my hand as Gavin took a quick glance over in his direction.

"I gotta admit man, I can see where you are coming from. He looks like a chick, and a hot one at that."

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. Glancing at BIll I saw him smiling and chatting on the phone.

"That really doesn't help man..."

"Go talk to him." Gavin insisted.

I looked at him shocked.

"But I'm not gay!"

Gavin shurgged his shoulder and raised his eyebrow. "You might as well try, there's no harm in it. And besides, I won't tell anyone, ok?"

I sighed and nodded slowly standing up. As I walked over to Bill's table I saw him hang up the phone. As I neared the table I could feel myself starting to sweat. I wiped my brow.

"Hey..um..Bill?"

Closing my cellphone I continued to eat, hoping they were not in here for me. I had enough shit in my life, so I would gladly accept a break. As I took another sip of my coffee, I saw a dude from the corner of my eyes.

'' hey..um..Bill? '' he said.

I looked up at him, placing back my cup on the table and nibbled at my lips, not sure about what to say. 'Pay the meal and just leave Bill! He's weird!'

...

'But what if he's kind?' I thought to myself, looking down at my sandwich who was only half eated. I wanted so much to disapear right now...

'' Er... yes? '' I asked back while he was standing next to the table, then took a sip of coffee, trying to distract myself.

If he was here to bully me about my look I wouldn't let him do this.

Why was I so nervous? I was never nervous talking to girls.

Oh God...

"Er...yes?" he asked barely acknowledging me.

It made me more nervous but I probably deserved it after ignoring him before. I took a little breath and tried to find something to say to him that didn't sound stupid or...well....gay.

"Um, Hi. I'm Tom. We bumped into each other a few times today..uh...but you know that...heh..."

I was babbling. It didn't make any sense. I was usually so smooth and cool now I can barely string a sentence together. I flitted from one foot to the other and waited for his response, biting my lip and picking my nails.

As I was trying to ignore him like he has done, his sentance made me lift an eyebrow lightly. He was serious? I mean he didn't talked to me the three times and now he was coming over me to say he was sorry? I took a small bite in my sandwich, feeling weird. I could ignore him too? But I didn't know how he could react if I did it. I kept looking at my meal, noticing he was waiting for me to answer.

'' Well... '' I started to say, searching for my words, '' I... think I'm okay... '' I replied as I quickly grabbed my cellphone to text with Adrian.

Maybe if I was texting this guy would leave me alone?

'Come on... You don't want him to go away...', I thought to myself, rubbing my neck.

'' Er... '' I blushed hard behind my hair, taking a breath, '' You can sit if you want? '' I mumbled.

I could tell he was working very hard to ignore me. I didn't blame him though.

Oh well, first try was a bust... I thought bracing myself to leave until he answered me.

He mumbled about how he was fine before grabbing his phone to text.

Great. Shot down before I even propositioned him...

I sighed. He obviously wanted me to leave. I was just about to walk away before he spoke again. He asked if I wanted to sit down. I gulped and nearly forgot how to breath.

"Um, yeah sure If that's ok with you?"

7 Lines XD

He asked me if it was fine with me. I nodded lightly, taking a sip of my coffee before placing away my cellphone.

'' Well... aren't you with your friend? I mean you were hanging around with him so... '' I mumbled fixing my hair.

I was, indeed, nervous to speak with him. And knowing he said okay to sit with me at the table made me more stressed. This situation already happened few weeks ago. A guy came to talk with me, but when I accepted to follow him, saying he wanted to go watch a movie, he pushed me into a halley and tried to force me to suck him off. Lucky me someone heared something when he passed in the street and helped me. I fixed my hair again, not knowing what to do anymore.

'' But yeah it's fine if you want to sit... '' I said again.

The waitor came back and I asked him another coffee, thanking him as he walked away and bite into my sandwich.

Yours was 7 too XD

He answered me with a nod and a question about Gavin. I was about to reply telling him that it was fine with him before he mumbled again telling me it was alright to sit down. I nodded with a small smile and pulled out the chair sitting down as he asked for another coffee and continued to eat him food. There was a short awkward silence that was inevitable between two strangers that just met.

I played with my finger nails and took a breath before speaking to him.

"Um well don't you think it's kind of funny to bump into the same person three time!" I chuckled awkwardly making small talk, "It's like it was a sign or something...heh...or something..." I trailed off realizing I probably wasn't making any sense.

I sat there bouncing my leg under the table. What is wrong with me! It's like I've forgotten how to be me!

I was actually getting a little hungry as I watched him eat. It was probably from the nerves.

As I was eating my sandwich, he asked me if I thought it was weird to bump into someone three times. He had right about this, how can someone bump so many times into the same person in few hours?

'' Well in fact yes... '' I replied as he laughed akwardly, making me chuckles lightly before telling me something about 'a sign'.

I lifted my eyebrow a little, not understanding what he was talking about and saw the waiter coming back with my coffee. I thanked him for the third time and blowed air on the hot liquid before taking a sip.

'' I don't know... er well what do you mean by 'a sign or something' ? '' I asked him, giving some little peeks at him.

His face was nice. In fact he was 'hot'. knowing he was straight was a little frustating because he was really good looking. But he was surely a dick, seeing his style of clothes that he was wearing. I placed a hand in my hair, fixing them.

He got cup of coffee as he was agreeing with me that it was strange to bump into people so often. I nodded and smiled in response watching him blow on the steaming cup. He made a confused face and looked at me asking what I meant about 'a sign or something.'

"Oh well, like, maybe we were supposed to meet and talk to each other. Like fate was making it impossible for us to ignore it." I said smiling.

I thought back to when we had bumped into each other the second time. I could be wasting my time even attempting to talk to him. He had clearly told me that he wasn't a faggot. Was I just getting my hopes up?

"Or it could have been a coincidence too, anyway, I shouldn't be bothering you while you're eating. You probably don't want to be talking to some stranger."

I stood up and smiled at him again.

I smiled lightly as he talked about 'fate', looking at me. Maybe it was, maybe it was only a coincidence. I took another sip, looking up at the same time while Tom as said something about annoying me, standing up. I placed back my cup on the table, looking at him.

'' No, no! It's fine! '' I said a bit too quickly, bitting down at my lip.

' Great, now he'll think you have a crush on him! ' I thought sighing very lightly.

'' I mean I don't care talking with a stranger. Plus we saw each other four time now, no? '' I chuckled lightly akward, finishing my meal.

atleast he wasn't forced me to talk to him. And beside what could I say to him?

' The new clothes in the next shop are great no?? ' I thought to myself, rolling my eyes.

I looked at my cellphone to know the hour and nibbled at my lips. It was already 6 o'clock now. I shrugged. Mom won't be angry if i come back few minutes more late.