A Better Morning: PV 03

As Tom pulled me out of the car, I sighed looking down. I really didn't want to go shopping. I climbed back in the car nibbling at my nails.

'' I wanna go home okay? '' I asked while closing my door.

I openned Tom's door at the same time, waving at him to come inside.

'' It's okay... Beside if you want me to go at your house I should prepare my stuffs, no...? '' I said with a little smile.

I didn't know why, but he was reminding me the others boys I had talked to. The ones who where annoying be me all the time because I didn't want sex or anything. But now feeling this with Tom was freaking me out. I didn't want him to be like that. Maybe I was thinking this for nothing, but still.

I sighed climbing into the car. I looked at Bill who was smiling but I saw in his eyes that he was worried. I nibbled at my lips and looked at my hands. Bill was ready to go but I didn't close the door. I wanted to say something to him before we left, so he knew I wasn't trying to force him to do anything.

"Bill, listen..." I hummed, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to seem forceful."

I looked at him with sad eyes. I hope I hadn't fucked things up. I really didn't want him to think I was like all those other guys that he had met. I wasn't just after sex, or a quick fuck. It was probably too late now.

"I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to, I'll wait until you're ready. I promise, no more pushing, ok?" I said looking down at my knees.

I waited after Tom to close the door but he didn't, talking to me. I kept my eyes on the steering wheel, I nodded a little, nibbling at my lips. I hoped he wasn't lying. I asked him to close the door and I drove over my house in silence for 15 minutes, then we went inside the house. I walked upstairs and started to grab my clothes to place them in some bags, sighing. It was upseting me that Tom reacted like that. I mean when I asked him to not touch me he wasn't happy with that. I picked up my hello kitty shirt and sighed, throwing it on my bed. I was hopping to get more comfortable with those touching things. But I couldn't help it, like I said Steven was doing those things to me too and... Well it was freaking me out a little. I rubbed my neck before placing the bags on my bed, then went back downstairs in the resting room with Tom. I don't know how he was feeling about all this, but for me there was a cold between Tom and me. It was stupid, thinking that yesterday I was happy to be with him but now... I nibbled at my lips for the second time, sitting on the white couch.

'' Tom...? '' I murmured, '' I'm not sure it'll work... I-I mean between us... I'm not stupid, you need attention, kisses, touches, ect, but not me... '' I sighed lightly before looking up at him a little, '' Honnestly... could you wait for like... 3 months or something before having sex...? '' I mumbled looking back at my knees.

We drove back to Bill's house in silence. That was it, I really had fucked it up. I wouldn't be surprised if he was going to just end it. I deserved it though, it was my fault. I pushed him too far. I didn't even know why I did it. I mean, after he told me his story I should have been more sensitive, more understanding of the fact that what I was doing was wrong for him. I guess it didn't register. I thought it was just the fact that his brother was doing it. I didn't make the connection that he associated all the touching and stuff with his brother. I really am a dick head. When we got back to the house I went to sit in the living room while Bill went up to pack. How were we going to be able to live together with all this tension between us. I mean if Bill didn't feel comfortable with me what was the point in leaving his house. He would go from a place he feels uncomfortable, to a place where he would feel the same. Maybe ending would be better for us. I thought I loved him, I think I still do love him. I guess I love him enough to let him go, to let him go and be with someone that he feels safe with. Though, if I left him here he wouldn't be safe anyway. I didn't know what to do. Bill came down after a short while and sat beside me on the couch.

Here we go...

He explained how he didn't think it would work between us, I liked touching and things too much and he didn't want it. My shoulders fell. I didn't know why I had expected him to say something different, but I was disappointed anyway. I just sat there looking at my knees waiting for him to say it was over and that he'd be better off without me. That's not what I heard though. Bill mumbled about if I could honestly wait a few months before having sex with him. I looked at my hands a little shocked. I wasn't planning on having sex with him anytime soon. It's just an affection thing I was after. I looked at him and he was staring at him knees. I swallowed and made to put my hand on his back then I stopped myself. I put my hands between my knees.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I wasn't expecting sex or anything like that from you yet. I know that you need time and I'm willing to wait. I'll wait for as long as you want. All that touching, it was just to show you how I felt. I didn't mean anything by it. It doesn't mean I wanna fuck you and then leave...." I sighed a little. It was never going to be the same really. After this there will always be that tension. It's not going to let up. I'm going to want to touch him but I'm gonna have to watch myself when he's around. It will be as bad for him. He'll be uptight when he's around me. Always wondering if I'm gonna touch him.

"Whatever you want to do, I'll be fine with it. If you want to break it off that's fine with me, If you don't I can wait. It's up to you."

I listenned to what Tom said after I asked him if he wold wait and nibbled at my lips. I knew it was stupid not wanting to be touch by someone, I would gladly want to be comfortable but I wasn't. I nodded a little when he said he could wait and thought for few minutes when he asked me if I wanted to break or not. In fact I liked this guy. I mean he was more kind that the other ones, that's for sure. When I said to the guys that I didn't liked to be touch like that, they just said it won't work between me and them, then they leaved. It happenned with 3 guys in 4 years. I sighed remembering this and nibbled at my lips before leaning over Tom, hugging him tightly.

'' Thank you... '' I murmured as I kissed he cheek a litte, then rested my face in his neck, '' It's okay if you hug me, but... don't move your hands all over me okay...? '' I mumbled.

Bill was silent for a little bit after I had said what I needed to say. He nibbled his lips and sighed. Then he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. I sighed happily and smiled at him. I left my arm rest on his back as he hugged me. I nodded at what he said and looked ahead for a little bit.

"So are you really gonna come to my house?" I asked him after a little bit. If he was coming he wouldn't need too much. Just his clothes and toiletries and such. Everything else I had at my house. I wondered if he would be comfortable moving into a place he has never been before. Thinking about it I wondered where he would sleep. I could lock my parents bedroom and he could have the guest room. It was huge but it was comfortable.It would mean he had his own room. It was on the opposite side of the house far away from my room, but that was a good thing I suppose. At least Steven wasn't going to be around him and he could sleep in peace. Though I wasn't much of a cook, I wonder if Bill would do the honor?

I kept hugging him while he asked me if I was really coming to his house. I lifted up my face, looking at him.

'' Well yes... you don't want me to..? '' I asked raising one eyebrow.

He had proposed me this yesterday, but if he didn't want to today it was fine, I would stay here. I hugged him back, humming lightly. Atleast he said he would wait, so I shouldn't be scared anymore. Though my brother was not at home, I was still thinking at how he will react when I'll leave.

'' Hey Tom...? Steven's gonna pissed off if I leave... So what will he does when I'll come back after two months? '' I asked unsure.

Bill looked up at me.

"Of course, I want you to," I said to him after he had asked.

He hugged me back humming and after a while he asked me something. He was worried about his brother's reaction and what would happen when he came back two months later. It didn't take a genius to work out that he wasn;t going to be happy and when Bill got back Steven would do anything in his power to bring about what he wanted to happen between himself and Bill. I nodded a little thinking. Then I smiled.

"Well, you won;t have to come back after two months," I told him, "I'll get a job, and maybe you and we can find an apartment and live there together, no?"

I thought about it. It was possible. I was to be 19 soon and it would be easier for me to move out and get a job. It would be fine.

I smiled a little when he said he still wanted me to come and nibbled at my lips.

' Buying an appartment? ' I thought about he said.

In fact I didn't know what to reply right now. I mean I loved my family, though my brother was... Anyway, I nodded lightly. It could be cool, leaving alone. I could do whatever I want to, my brother not around me. I smiled and nodded a bit more, kissing Tom's cheek while flushing. Jesus, kissing him his weird. Not in a wrong way though. I grabbed his hand in mine, playing with it.

'' You know how to cook? '' I asked him while sitting up on him.

"Heh heh...Cook, yeah I can....No not even a little bit. I burn boiled water." I said shaking my head. It was really embarrassing. Maybe Bill would teach me?

At least I knew that he was happy to move in with me now, and maybe get the apartment together later. I let Bill play with my hand and kiss my cheek. It was nice that Bill was touching me a little. I would let him do all the touching. It would be easier. He was so sweet and cute that I was so happy that he didn't break up with me. Now I could have him all to myself. And we'd be living in the same house. It was going to be a bit weird for a little bit but I'm sure we would get used to it.

"You finished packing?" I asked him.

I smirked when he said that he wasn't able to cook.

'' Oh come on!! You can do your own toasts atleast?? '' I asked laughing a little.

I hugged him again while nodding as Tom asked me if my bags were done. I had make them few minutes ago. The only thing I had to do was telling my parents about all this. They didn't even know I was in couple, that I was moving for 2 months in Tom's house and that maybe I was going to be in appartment with him... 3 things I should tell them. I chuckled a little before kissing Tom's cheek again.

"Heh, you like black toast?" I asked blushing a little.

It was pretty pathetic that I could cook. Mom just never taught me how to. I guess when you only have one son, teaching him to cook wasn't a major thing. It didn't matter. Bill could teach me.

"You could teach me though?" I asked looking at him. "Maybe?"

It might be handy though If I was able to make more than....nothing. I chuckled a little bit at the thought. Bill smiled kissing my cheek again and I chuckled a little more.

I laughed more when he said that they were all black. I never thought someone could be a looser in cooking.

'' Well maybe I'm not comfortable with sex, but atleast I can do my own house made good meals! '' I said sticking out my tongue while laughing.

I stood up off him before fixing my hair, then walked over the phone to call my parents. I argued with them for atleast a big 1 hour, then I sighed, coming back beside Tom.

'' They wanna see you first... '' I mumbled playing with my fingers, '' Is that okay? '' I asked Tom.

I hoped dad won't be too much rude with him though.

Bill laughed at me when I told him about my great ability for cooking. Bill suggested that I he could do all the cooking and I smiled happily. Bill got up to call his parents about moving in. He was on the phone for at least an hour shouting and yelling, arguing about moving in with me. I just sat there waiting. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal. I mean he was 20. It's not like his parent still had control over Bill. It's very strange. My parents would be ecstatic if moved out.

Bill said that they wanted to meet me first. I nodded that it was fine. I would have words with them. Bill was moving in with me whether they like it or not.

"Don't worry, we'll move in together k?" I said kissing his cheek.

I sighed before nodding.

'' Yes but... you know my dad well... Okay I'll tell you, after all the guys were leaving because I was too much shy about sex, I was crying all the time... So my dad is, kinda, angry about guys so... '' I chuckled rubbing my neck before flushing when Tom kissed my cheek.

I nibbled at my lips for a moment before pressing them on Tom's ones, wrapping my arm around his neck to kiss him more deeply.

Bill explained how his father was wary of guys because Bill had been hurt so much before. I nodded. I understood what Bill's dad was saying. If anyone upset Bill and I was there to see him fall to pieces afterwards I would kill all round me. I smiled at him and was about to say something before Bill pressed his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around my neck to kiss me deeper. I jumped a little. I wasn't expecting that. I put my hands on Bill's knees, kissing him back softly. After a few minutes I broke the kiss smiling at him.

"What was that for?" I asked happily, putting his hair behind his ear.

As we broke the kiss, Tom asked me why I did that, placing my hair. I flushed lightly and hugged him again, shrugging a little.

'' I think I wanted to do it... '' I mumbled in his neck, '' So... They're coming back in like 3 hours... I could show you some things to cook? '' I asked sitting up, '' If we cook now, then it'll be ready in 2 hours so it's gonna be 1pm. And we'll eat! '' I said standing up, walking over the kitchen, '' You like pasta?? '' I yelled from the fridge, picking up the ingredients for the sauce.

Maybe I could put some sausages in the the sauce?? I hummed in appetite, pulling out the dishes.

'' SO!! First you're gonna cut the mushrooms, okay? '' I said to tom, washing my hands.

I smiled as Bill told me he kissed me just because he wanted to. Hearing that made me happy. It made me think that the last argument we had was over nothing. Bill sugggested he showed me how to make some food. I nodded, we had to start somewhere. We walked over to the kitchen and Bill searched in the fridge. I laughes a yes when he asked if I liked pasta.

"I'll eat pretty much anything," I said to him.

Bill washed his hands before telling me that I was gonna chop the mushrooms. I lloked at him wide eyed before going to wash my hands too.

"You want me to chop something? I'm gonna cut my fingers off, you'll have to show me how to do it!" I looked at him a little scared.

I looked back at Tom wide eyed. For once I was the adult here. I laughed lightly before nodding, Grabbing one knife I placed some mushrooms on the counter with a tablet under them, then starting to chop one, showing how to do at Tom.

'' You think you'll make it fine?? '' I asked laughing a little again befor letting him do that while I started to cut the sausages beside him in little pieces.

I eat one piece before placing the food in the big bowl with the tomatoes juice and the pieces of tomatoes that I cut after the sausages.

Bill showed me how to cut the mushroom and I watched him. He moved and asked me to do it. I put one finger on the mushroom and put the knife away from my finger stabbing at the mushroom. I looked at it angrily and stabbed it harder because it wouldn't cut.

"Bill!" I called, "The mushroom is broken!"

I jumped as Tom yelled that the mushroom was broken and looked at what he was doing. Tom was joking, right? I laughed loud and said to him to stop, grabbing the knife and cutting the mushroom correctly.

'' You're using the tip of the knife Tom!! Jesus!! '' I said laughing more, tears coming up, '' Are you kidding me?? '' I panted between two laughes.

I tried to calm down, giving him back the knife before kissing Tom's cheek a little, turning back to the vegetables.

I blushed a little as Bill laughed at me.

"Hey! Mister top chef! Don't laugh at me!" I said starting to laugh as well.

Bill took the knife and cut the mushroom properly himself. He gave me the knife back and another mushroom expecting me to do it this time. He kissed my cheek and went back to cutting the vegetables again. I held it with some fingers and sliced the mushroom in half.

"HA! Take that stupid mushroom!" I laughed doing a little dance around.

I giggled when Tom danced around the kitchen because he has cut the mushroom in two. I grabbed his arm, pulling him back in front of the counter and showed him the 8 others mushrooms.

'' If you keep dancing all the time like that we'll never finish! '' I laughed and hugged himm tightly for few seconds, humming, before cutting the vegetables again.

He was funny, though I never would have guessed he was so bad at cooking.

Bill stopped me dancing hugging me tightly. He pulled ,e back to the counter and pointed at the rest of the mushrooms on the counter.

"No way 8 more!" I whined playfully.

I grabbed the mushroom and held it cutting it more.

"I have you now, Mr. Shroom," I said talking to it, "You can't get out of this one. I will rule the world one day! Mwahaha!"

I cut the mushroom up a bit more laughing evilly as I did it.

I bite my lips while watching him talk to the food. It was funny. I finished to cut the other vegetables before taking out the meat from the fridge, placing it on the counter.

'' Hey Tom...?? Help me with this okay? '' I said showing him the meat, '' You must place it in the sauce '', I said smiling before sitting at the table, humming lightly.

It's gonna be long to teach him many things to eat.